I was thinking about how some people, even myself, sometimes want people to change who they are so that you feel comfortable when you are around them. But you have to understand that other people will not change for you but themselves. And if they do change, it is not because you convinced them or changed their opinion, but because they have realized that they have to change for their reasons. Unfortunately, when people get into a relationship, they sometimes think they can change that person. An example of wanting someone to change in a relationship can be when a woman chooses a bad boy over a good one.
Within context, the other day, I talked with a guy friend who was falling for this girl, but she then decided to go for the boy who did not treat her well. My friend then asked me, "why is it that girls always go for the bad boys?" I honestly had no idea, but I had heard about that theory before. I then proceeded to look it up and found that since women are bearers and nourishers, they tend to consider bad boys a problem they can fix. It may sound appalling, but in a way, it does make sense.
According to dating expert Stacey Laura Lloyd, she stated why women tend to go for bad boys. First, women are scientifically attracted to rebels and men with confidence because men with those traits are considered to have pathological personality traits, including being extrovertive and seductive, which is appealing to women. Second, they tend to be afraid of commitment, and bad boys have the reputation of not committing or settling for a long-term relationship, allowing women to avoid getting hurt, having that pre-established stereotype of them. Third, women are known to have lower self-esteem, and because of that, they do not feel worthy enough for a more profound and long-lasting relationship. Finally, women tend to approach those who need to change or can be fixed, as I mentioned previously. (Lloyd, SL., 2017)
But since it is common for there to be misconceptions or misjudgements of men in general, having an idea of how a person is will allow you to have an idea of what you are dealing with.
Z.
References:
Lloyd, SL. (2017), Reasons Women Like Bad Boys, The List [online]. Available from: https://www.thelist.com/39848/reasons-women-like-bad-boys/ [Accessed October 25, 2020]
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