Yesterday I watched a movie with my mom called “Better on Paper,” and before the movie even started, it stated, “this is a true story, based on a lie.” Well, that was kind of was a tongue twister at first, and I was a bit confused, but then it made sense. A comedian narrated the movie because it was her story, and I was surprised by her anecdote. She had dated this guy who had lied his way to being her boyfriend just because he thought she wouldn’t like him. During the movie, my mom and I were making comments about how ridiculous this situation is, yet we encounter it almost every day. We find it so easy to lie and not be honest and tell the truth, but why? Why is it so hard to tell the truth? Are we afraid of saying what we honestly think? We make white lies as a way to “protect” others. However, those white lies that we make - such as not being honest with how we feel or even our opinion to be accepted and not looked at in an odd way - accumulate.
On a side note, these white lies are like atoms, as our being and behaviour accumulate, these result in our actions and reactions (as mentioned in “Atomic Habits” by James Clear). They end up adding up to being invisible, and we don’t realize what we are even saying because we react in a sort of autopilot as we start telling bigger and bigger lies. Let me rephrase that, the lies we make now are somehow invisible to us because we sometimes even believe them because we got so used to all the little, white lies we made so many times. But why aren’t we able to do that with the truth? Why do we want to become someone who gets to a point where the lies that come out of our mouths are invisible to us and believable to others because we believe them ourselves? Can we change that? Of course, we can! We can start shifting the way we speak by becoming aware of the words that we say. Every time we are asked something, before we say it, we can ask: Do I want to lie or do I want to be honest? Do I want to be true to myself? Do I want to be more truthful? It is all related to the way our brains process things. We can start manipulating our minds into reacting differently simply by changing the questions we ask ourselves before responding. So I invite you to start asking yourself if it is the case: why is it so easy to lie and not tell the truth? And if I have the chance to be honest, and truthful, why am I not taking this opportunity?
On the other hand, I also invite you to ask yourself if you are true to yourself; that is even more important, and being true to yourself is the foundation of being true to others. So, ask yourself that because a question never hurt anybody.
Z.
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