I don’t think we need to truly understand what someone else is going through, but we have to find compassion to be that helping hand for the people we care about. I don’t think we will ever truly understand anything that happens to someone else as we experience things differently, and have a completely different perspective. However, I find that we try so hard to understand what someone else has gone through by putting ourselves in a similar situation. I mean a great example is suffering. I know that is quite extreme, but if you think about it, people don’t truly resonate with someone else’s happiness but are instead resistant and jealous of it. But when it comes to suffering, we try and find a way to resonate and relate with others. But there is a difference between people who truly relate to the similarities of situations, and those who force it upon themselves so they can be victims of their own story. But why is it that we force suffering upon ourselves? Why do we want to have people pity for our experiences and stories? Can it be that we want to show a sense of vulnerability that we have been unable to show? Can it be that we are trying to fit into a certain group of people, yet still stand out so that we can be seen as a strong person, when in reality we are just masking who we truly are? Why are we so afraid of enjoyment? Why can’t we simply be who we are and live the life we are given instead of rejecting it and finding an alternative? Isn’t life supposed to be filled with experiences that are not forced, but embraced?
This week I found myself in certain interactions with people with who I shared a situation that happened to me, and it wasn’t necessarily that I wanted advice or even a response, but a sense of compassion and a space free of judgement. But what I felt was that when we share, the moment we expect a response from someone else, we become disappointed with the outcome as they react differently or maybe even uncompassionate and blinded by the reality of the moment you went through. But I think that we also find ourselves caught up in a loop when we have those expectations because we will continue to tell a story or situation - and find more information that will justify or help our story - until we get the response we truly want. But what if we simply surrender to the truth and simply let go of what others say? What if we stop masking our emotions when we feel what we do and express a moment in time without going on a loop about it? I think that we start to be in a position where we become desperate to feel understood or even seen by people who have not even been in the same position we have, let alone live the life we have lived. So why do we keep on pursuing a response?
On the other hand, there are moments when we choose to continue suffering because we have become accustomed to it and will go around in circles trying to find the reasons why we go through those moments. Not only is it questioning the past, but finding fault in the present, maybe the lack or the desperation of wanting to have more. But this idea of suffering drives us into a hole that we find no end until we finally step back and see things for what they are, without expecting there to be an answer that is different from your own, or an alternative story or reality than the one you have already lived.
So, what if we give ourselves the chance to surrender to the truth? What if we allow ourselves to embrace experiences for what they are, and allow moments to be lived without going around in circles? Maybe it is time to simply embrace and be without being desperate to be someone you aren’t and putting on all these masks just to fit in.
Z.
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