The topic I haven’t discussed on my blog is relationships. I haven’t written anything about being in a relationship because I felt I wasn’t entitled to do so. Why? Well, I have never been in an official relationship - with the title and everything… However, I think I’ve dated and gone out with quite a few people, more than a handful, to know more about what it is to be with someone and have a connection that is more than just being friends. But that is the thing; I thought a title defined a relationship. However, for me, a relationship is determined by your connection with someone, and I just divide it into two: either friends or more than friends. And I feel that pressuring yourself into being in a relationship with a title is like wanting to get an award to show the world that you have it. But if you decide to keep it personal, there is nothing wrong with that.
But, going more in-depth into the “relationship world,” I think that our generation has concluded that because we have so many options, we always assume that there may be something better out there. Or, if something doesn’t work out, you can move on to the next. There isn’t that sense of wanting to fight or be willing to risk opening up and falling in love. And I think that opening up to love is one of the hardest things because we show our weakest side, which is being vulnerable. It is the side we don’t show to the world, and maybe we don’t even show it to the people closest to us or ourselves. We don’t like feeling hurt; we don’t like going through that pain, that heartbreak and grief of losing someone. And it’s understandable, but these relationships we put ourselves in or that may occur are lessons that help us. The people help us realize what we want, who we want to become, who we want to be with, or even just the sense of knowing what it feels like to be with the right person. And the thing with me, if I am being honest, is that I used to create illusions, and I still do at times, where I like to project myself into the future or even make assumptions which sometimes lead to disappointment.
The most important thing that I realized that has helped me know what it feels like to be with the right person is when you are aware enough to know that you are not someone else and that you are not forcing yourself to become the person your partner wants you to be (or what you think they want you to be). It is the sense of just being you and being comfortable enough, knowing that you won’t regret talking or feeling ashamed of expressing your opinion or even showing how silly and playful you can be. But I don’t think we talk enough about how we feel at the beginning of a relationship; the doubt, the excitement, the joy, the frustration… it is just a roller coaster of emotions. And all of these emotions, I think, also are a consequence of how aware we are that as many options are at our disposal when it comes to relationships and meeting people, they also have that. And I think it is that insecurity that we put ourselves into thinking that we may not be enough and that there may be someone better… But you know what? You are not replaceable; nobody is. And if the other person you are with decides to act that way of already going on the search to be with someone else behind your back, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. And as hard as it is, it is okay. The person that is intended to be with you will be there for you and only you. Okay, people have other priorities, and you have to respect them, but you also have to respect yourself, and I think it is time that we learn how to do that and figure out what we want. And I believe that the best way we can do any of this, to figure out more about ourselves, is by putting ourselves out there and just living, learning, and discovering what we enjoy.
Z.
Comments