I think it is in the most challenging moments that we realize our true strength. I think we take for granted how strong we are to be able to overcome things we didn’t know we could at the time. And it’s funny to look back and just be like: holy shit, I went through that? You did, and it is simply because you decided to take the first step.
I want to talk about the importance of the first step because it has helped me a lot in the past months. By saying the first step, I not only mean making the decision but the steps that come afterwards. And every step you take is, in a way, like the first step towards getting what you want. It isn’t about the motivation you have, but the commitment, discipline and love we have towards achieving what we truly desire.
I think it was a few weeks ago when I took another step to come back to my authentic self. I started with journaling and other habits I used to do when I was feeling my best. However, I realized that you couldn’t unlearn things but change and adapt to new things and decide to grow with them instead of against them. So, even if I was journaling, I realized it wasn’t enough; I had to use what I had learnt, what I read about and watched. It was time that I tasted my own medicine. So I gave myself a few bitch slaps, and I decided to not simply journal, but ask questions, go deeper, peel the layers of the onion, start accepting my reality as it was and find things that I wanted to keep growing with and what I had to let go. The second step I took, which was the first step into this other subcategory of my growth journey, was my physical health which was correlated to my emotional and mental health. So, I went back to that routine and kept a promise to myself. And keeping promises to yourself is one of the most important things. Throughout my growth and healing journey, I have learnt that it is being honest with yourself and not with others; it is taking accountability for your actions and keeping track of the reality you are living. The third step I took was to apply what I had lived, what I had learnt, and what I am still learning into my daily life and consider it an experiment with myself to see how far I can go in discovering who I am.
However, I have to say that these are the steps I used to return to my true self. Your steps can be different, and that is for you to discover. But making the decision and making that promise to yourself is going to be both challenging and a compromise you must be willing to take. The journey may or may not be easy, but no one ever said that healing was. You will face situations and hurdles along the way; I still do and will probably keep encountering them. But it is how you confront them and how you react to them that will change. So, as usual, I invite you to take that first step. Make that promise to yourself, heal, and create a strong relationship with yourself. If you find it difficult at first, like it was for me, make it into a game of discovery or clues. Find the way that works for you.
Z.
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