I think that after some hurdles that we go through, we get to a point where we seek simplicity.
When we are faced with several situations, whether it is a lesson that we have to learn, relationships that aren’t very healthy, or a moment that triggers us, the only thing we crave at that moment is a sense of relief - a break. We want to go back to that moment where we don’t feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, guilty, or scared. Most of the time we don’t know how to get to a place where we feel at peace with our life and mainly with ourselves. Funny enough, we assume we can go back to the old habits we had to relieve those feelings, but it isn’t usually the case where we can go back.
The past few months, I’ve had ups and downs; moments where I just wanted to do nothing, or wanted to do everything. I felt like I didn’t know where I was heading or what I wanted to do. I felt as though I was stuck and I had no way out. I was in this repetitive cycle of beating myself down constantly because I just wanted to force myself to feel better. I didn’t allow myself to feel what I had to feel, accept what I didn’t want to accept, and let go of whatever didn’t belong to me. I was holding on to a rope that made me carry some weight that was just holding me down. I was doing this to myself because I didn’t want to let go of what used to make me feel a sense of comfort. That saying: Old habits die hard, also applies to things that used to make you feel comfortable or safe even if they weren’t good for you. I feel like I got to a point where I wanted to just let go of everything, but didn’t know how. It wasn’t until recently that I decided to incorporate habits, which I did challenge myself to do that I knew would benefit me. I wanted to go back to who I am and to do that, I had to reject some of the ideas, beliefs or patterns I kept on doing. It wasn’t easy, but I started changing my habits. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to do something that you know will be good for you.
One of the things that I began doing was yoga. The last part of the practice is the pose Shavasana - the pose where you lay down and absorb the moment and just take in the simplicity of doing nothing. If I am being honest, it has become my favourite pose, because you just relax and don’t think of anything. I began to realize that we stress about things that don’t matter or that are out of our control. We try and fix the unfixable, or try and do things that we aren’t meant to do because it isn’t even ours to do. We take on responsibilities that don’t belong to us, and as much as it keeps us busy (or at least we think it does), it simply takes up space in our energy and life.
Getting to a point where you feel so overwhelmed you end up wanting to do nothing is a sign that you have to take a step back. Take a step back to breathe, to see how much you have done and are doing. I am still working on this, but I invite you to do it as well. I invite you to be easy on yourself. I know it is easier said than done, but it is never too late to start loving yourself more and taking better care of the relationship you have with yourself.
Z.
Comments