How we see ourselves is entirely different from how others see us. Earlier this week, there was a question that I came across which stayed with me: how do others describe you? how do you describe yourself? how are both answers similar or different? I realized that I the way others see us and how we interact with them. However, the way we see ourselves (if we genuinely put ourselves in a situation where we are isolated by everything and everyone) is based on how we are when we are alone. The way that we describe who we are is based on what we think about when our mind wanders. The response can be similar to how others describe you, but to think about how we externalize everything that we feel or everything that we think about is quite difficult. So, when we spend time with other people, we tend to minimize who we are and just share what we think is sufficient or enough for a relationship based on the connection we have with that person. And because we don’t always act the same as everyone else, the only person who truly knows who you are is yourself. But to be able to get to know all of who you are, it is to accept all of these sides that we decide not to show to others and instead internalize them to not overshare or feel as though you will push other people away. We can't always be all of who we are with others, and I am not saying it is impossible, but sometimes, we want to be able to be our best selves with the people we love or the people we surround ourselves with, which can submerge the sides that may not be all cheerful and great. I think that is why when we are then faced with alone time, we come to a point where we are sad or in a negative state of mind. Being around others should not mean that we should hide who we are and how we feel. If we start to just internalize everything, those silent moments, where we don’t interact with others, everything can resurface and can bombard us with a feeling of being overwhelmed with thoughts and drain us emotionally and maybe even physically.
Fortunately, we have the power to decide who we surround ourselves with, how we act around other people, and how we decided to exchange or share our energy. But I think it is time (for me at least) to stop bottling up those emotions when I am surrounded by other people. Because even if you don’t want to show that side of yourself, you can always take a few minutes, go to another room and come back to yourself instead of continuously having to feel as though you have to act a certain way.
Z.
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