We all talk about being optimistic and wanting to see the best in everything, as hard as it is, but is it always good to do that? What if we need to accept that things may not be all sunshine and rainbows? What if we need to embrace the fact that we experience this wave of emotions without judging them?
I think that when we find ourselves in difficult situations, most of the time, we do one of two things. We either say it is all going to be okay, and we almost immediately shift our state of being, or we stay in a negative mindset and spiral into overwhelming feelings that make it harder to deal with the situation. However, both of these have negative side effects, the second one we are a lot more aware of because it is talked about a lot more. But what about the first one? I think the difference between the two is that the first is us avoiding the situation by telling ourselves that everything will be just fine, putting a fake smile on our faces, and moving on. However, the second one, we accept it, but we embellish it just so that we can feel the emotions in a more extreme way which then misguides us, and instead, we focus on something that isn’t even within our control. But funny enough, we have yet to normalize the action of facing the situation head-on. And it isn’t something we can just do from one day to the next. No! It takes time, as everything does. Why? Well, we must first understand how we react to situations that fit specific criteria. Then we need to see how we respond to them; sometimes, we don’t know how to react to them until later. Regardless of realizing how it is that we respond after the whole thing occurred, we are given the opportunity to learn from our patterns and the next time the situation presents itself; we can give it a try and deal with it differently. But I hate to say it… The most challenging thing about this whole method of coping with shitty situations is to allow yourself to cry and express those emotions as soon as possible (preferably when you are alone or with someone you trust) so that those emotions are not bottled up. When you start releasing things as soon as they present themselves, you allow yourself to detach and cope with situations in a very different way, not by suppressing negative emotions or by trying to release them in ways that you find are out of your control.
But as hard as it is, I know you can do this. I know that we just want to give up even when we feel like our world is crumbling down and we have nothing else to do or no one else to be with. Have you ever thought about venting about everything you are going through with a piece of paper and a pen? Because doing that is not the same as just thinking about it. Why? Because we are releasing it, we are letting it out of our body and mind and dealing with it.
So, as per usual, I invite you to give this a try and just see how it is that you feel afterwards. See if you feel lighter and maybe even a bit relieved. Who knows? But give it a shot; I know it’s worked for me…
Z.
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