We tend to put off the emotions of resentment we have against other people because we are afraid of losing them because they have been present our whole life, or they simply are part of our life in one way or another. But putting emotions aside is like being on autopilot or like a duck that is simply floating on a canal and going on about life as if nothing has happened. It is hard to realize what is going on around us when we don’t want to accept that we have things that we have to let go. One of the hardest things that one may go through, that is similar to this feeling, is grief. However, it is not only grief of losing someone definitely, but having people who can still be close and nearby and suddenly distance or differences is what separates the both of you. Once you realize that there is nothing really attaching you to someone, you find no reason to keep on having them in your life. Regardless of the closeness you once had, that can no longer be there once you realize that even if you may change and grow, that does not always apply with someone else; and it may also be that we want them to grow with us, but they simply don’t. And it is the mere acceptance that some people will not change that is the hardest thing to do. It is the fact that we give them so many changes, hoping that they will change, but don’t. And it may not even be that they don’t want to, but it is because they don’t even realize it. However, once you begin to accept that you no longer want that in your life, or you no longer need that difference or past in your life, you may want to simply leave or put that behind you. Regardless of wanting to have that separation and grow on your own time and take your own path, there are some people who are leeches and they will not leave, because they don’t want to. So, what can we do in that case? We accept that they are there, we accept that they may latch on in an unexpected moment and we think about how to remove it in the best way possible so we don’t harm either them or us.
I remember this one time, I unexpectedly got a leach on my foot and I tried removing it before knowing what it was, and realized that if I had not removed it when I did, it could have hurt me more than I would have wanted. So, just like people or things, we want to remove them before they attach too much, and take care of ourselves so we don’t have to see what may happen if we just leave it. One of the most important things to do in life is not only to learn from your own experiences, but to also learn from the experiences of others as reference and guidance, but not as a benchmark of how our life will be defined. So, as ironic or contradictory as this may sound, but from my experience, I suggest trusting your instinct and past experiences you have had to guide you through life and teach yourself the lessons we are sometimes too afraid to learn. It is time that we start being completely honest with ourselves as hard as it is.
Z.
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