We all have a story to tell, but at what point do we share our whole story: the beginning, the conflicts, the people involved, the turning points, and maybe the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one? What makes us hold back from saying everything that is on our minds? Part of me thinks that it is the fear of being judged, another feels as though we are afraid to believe that people will not understand what we went through, but another part of me thinks that we don’t value what we have gone through enough actually to recognize that what we went through was difficult.
The first thing that came to mind was the fear of being judged. I feel as though we have this assumption that if one person judges us, it feels as though we are not worthy enough to be heard by others. However, another part of me feels like we go through these never-ending dilemmas in our heads, conversations that go on-and-on, but lead us nowhere. But everyone will always have an opinion; everyone will think of you in some way. But why do we give certain people more importance than others? And why is it that we end up giving the power to the people who don’t know the whole story to make us feel less worthy of whatever it is that we went through? When I think of people feeling like they have the right to judge us, I think of them being in a position where they either feel like they went through something worse and don’t want to feel inferior in that aspect or maybe they simply have heard of others that have gone through things that may seem worse. However, each one of us has a story and we all have gone through things, and they all are different. We can’t compare what we have gone through with other people. Discussing it or talking about what we went through is a way to share our experiences, which will allow us to grow and learn.
If I am being honest, I was scared to start sharing my story and realizations, because it meant opening up and being exposed to the thoughts and opinions of other people. Don’t get me wrong, when I started this blog, it was a challenge, and I remember my mom telling me that I must stay true to myself and speak from the heart and what I went through. I can’t just say things without going beyond the surface. This blog isn’t only a way to express myself, but it has also become a way to heal myself; it allows me to get a taste of my own medicine from time to time. Re-reading articles, to know that if I am saying it, I must also be able to do it. Because, how better to help others if it isn’t from what you have lived through? Sometimes we just have to walk the talk, not for others to see, but to see for ourselves that we can be better and that we can be congruent with what we say.
I know I just splattered a bunch of words onto the screen, and it may seem as though they aren’t leading to anything. But with all of this to say, I want you to know that in whatever way we choose to express our story and what we went through, part of it is also sharing the side of vulnerability that we are sometimes too afraid to show for ourselves. The moment we start to embrace our past and be able to value it, we can begin to appreciate and value ourselves and how much we have grown. We don’t need anyone to tell us if what we went through is good or bad, hard, or easy, but for us to believe our truth and to know where we come from. Allow yourself to tell your own story and don’t let others tell you to be something you aren’t.
Z.
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