It is hard to think of only one thing that happened this week that really struck me or made me pause for a moment to process my thoughts. But the one that really made my jaw drop was when I stopped myself from comparing how and who I am with others, and began to question why I was doing that in the first place. I started to wonder why it is that we even compare ourselves. Is it insecurity? Is it a lack of self awareness? Or can it be that we simply find ourselves comparing who we are with others out of habit? I can’t really tell you how it is that you feel, but what I realized for myself was how comparison is a sense of measurement. Think about it for a second…Now, ask yourself why you would measure yourself in any way to compare who you are with something or someone? Why would you rate yourself on a scale, with numbers or even with descriptive adjectives to define who you are? The first thing is to know and accept that we are all different, and bring something to this world that allows us to stand out in our own way. However, we tend to be drawn to the desire of wanting to be like someone or something else because we believe that the life we are living is supposed to be measured, whether it be by success, beauty, or love. But can any of those really be measured? If so, how can they be measured? (I would be curious to know - anything other than a consensus)
So, with all this said, can us comparing who we are, our authentic selves, truly help us in any way? I think so, but not in the way we tend to do it. I think we should begin by questioning if what we lack is something that we can give ourselves or if it is something we truly need from someone else. Because if you think about it, we can have what we believe we lack if we choose to change our mindset. Like if we feel we are not receiving love, ask yourself if you are giving yourself the love you believe you deserve. If you lack success, ask yourself what it really means to be successful and also ask if this idea came from someone else or if it is yours. One last one… if you lack confidence, then ask yourself why you feel that way; ask yourself what part of you is making you question your confidence and your sense of worth and choose to change that negative emotion and thinking pattern in that moment. I know that these seem like easy steps, or maybe not, but the moment we truly decide to peel those layers and question why we compare, why we feel the need to do so, it is only then that we can begin to see more of who we are and more of why we act the way we do. In my honest opinion, this realization was one of the biggest stepping stones for me - it allowed me to question a lot and accept things even if they were difficult.
Z.
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