Have you ever questioned the difference between having pride and being proud?
I mean, it may sound the same, but I was talking to my mom the other day, and there is a big difference. I have recently gained a lot of confidence in myself because of all the work I have been doing, between my spiritual growth, physical acceptance, and learning to let go. Last night, I looked at myself in the mirror, and it was the first time in years that I recognized who I was, and I smiled at myself because I was proud of what I have achieved. Acceptance of who you are is one of the most extraordinary things in life, and someone taking that away from you may end up leaving you completely worthless and lost. I recognized that I am proud of who I had become and who I am becoming; it was truly one of the most genuine feelings of joy I’ve had in my short life. But when I talked with my mom, I said: Let me know if I ever get to the point where I have too much pride because I have personally never felt this level of confidence. To be able to look in the mirror and not want to look away. She then replied that I would not be able to have too much pride because I was humble and too self-aware. We both laughed, and well, I thought about it. What was bothering me was that society had left a label and remarked that being confident and comfortable with who you are is a sign of pride instead of acceptance. If we are honest, that is one of my fears: people looking at me and thinking that because I am finally accepting who I am, I have too much pride, and no one would even want to talk to me. But there is a difference, as I mentioned earlier.
Pride, as some synonyms would say, is having an ego. And I know that I have stated in other articles that having an ego is not always bad, but there is a side to it where it is used to flaunt and show-off who you are. But being proud of who you are is more heartfelt, and as my mom says, a humble way of seeing things.
I felt for so long that having confidence in oneself would be amazing, and now that I have it, it is. Still, I never considered the negative aspect of it—the simplicity of feeling indirectly judged for the acceptance you have found for yourself. We have to learn to look at the glass half full instead of half empty. We cannot look at the negative aspect of confidence, being proud of where you are now and what you have achieved. It may be hard once you have it because thoughts can still overrule us, but it is learning how to control your thoughts and quieting the negativity that will allow us to be proud instead of having pride.
Z.
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