Even if our mind is so small, it stores so much: memories, moments, emotions, people, everything. However, we tend to make it our warehouse, where we place each situation in a specific department, and when we get a memory, we relate it to an event. Sometimes we don’t know where or how to place each thing and how to compartmentalize it. As my Oma says, “everything has its department,” but we usually store it somewhere else. Nonetheless, as I have been going through a few things this past month, what I did was place everything in a box and not differentiate or distinguish each situation, and it almost made me explode.
While I was talking with my mom, she said to categorize everything where it should be, separate the event and the emotion, and try to find the root of what is bothering you. So, that is what I did. As I read in a book once, the first thing is to write everything down, start expressing your thoughts, and talk aloud, even if it is to yourself; I highly suggest it.
As teenagers, as adults, as people, in general, we reach a point where we put aside what we do not want to deal with at that very moment, and we start bottling up everything. We think that we will be able to escape it because we do not face it, but let’s just say that it haunts us. When we do not deal with something face to face - I know it sounds odd - we are going to explode, and we become our own ticking time bomb.
This week, I decided to face every situation that has been bothering me this past month. Now, let me say, it was not easy. I was going on and on, trying to convince myself at first that I had dealt with it when I hadn’t and put it aside. This week alone, I started to cry one day, the next, I had two anxiety attacks, and then I couldn’t sleep until four in the morning. I woke up a couple of days ago and wrote everything down as if I was writing some draft of the events that happened this past month, and it was a lot. The moment I started to write, I opened wounds from the past. It helped me realize that I had created a vicious cycle, as I said in one of my last articles. I was able to pinpoint each person that came into my life, the relationship each of them had, and the personality traits they had in common, allowing me to let go of things from my past and accept them as they were because they had already happened. By doing this, I allowed myself to get unstuck from my vicious cycle.
The moment one can let go of the past will be when they can live in the present and get unstuck for the future.
Z.
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