One thing I think is easier said than done is forgiving but not forgetting. I feel that we confuse both of these terms when we get to the point where we feel that we have forgiven someone when we have only tried to forget what they have done and move on. However, the moment we try and forget, we create this blockage in our memory or brain and try to replace it with positive things or nothing.
But before I go on with this article, I want to be honest and speak my truth. There are people in my life that have hurt me, but those same people have taught me some of the best lessons so far. And sometimes, the pain was so strong that it felt better just to numb it and try and escape it. Regardless of trying to escape or forget it, a part of us will always remember it. And I noticed that we can’t escape our past because it is part of who we are now. I tried to forgive for so long but never felt that peace of mind. I made myself escape my past, thinking that I was forgiving someone, but I was just bottling it up until it would overflow, and I would realize that I was just drowning in my self-sabotage.
I don’t intend this article to sound so sad or like a self-pity type of writing because it isn’t. I think it is moments like this when you realize something big is holding you back from moving forward. I think the moment we decide to forgive is when we accept what it is that we went through and accept that it is part of us. No matter how painful something might have been. Because I don’t think I would be where I am now if it were not for everything, I have gone through so far. I believe that it is time to stop trying to escape who we are and start accepting how far we have come, how much we have grown and how much we have learnt.
If we are still here right now, we are fuk*ng survivors. Looking back at the past two years, it has been a roller coaster. But they say that the craziest roller coasters sometimes are the best.
So I invite you to look back at who you were two years ago and who you are now. What did you learn? Who did you become? And if you are not happy with who you are now, make that change and use what you have learnt.
Z.
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