I’ve noticed that there are fears we may sometimes avoid because we don’t think they will affect us anytime soon. However, when we are faced with them, we come to realize that we don’t know how to react; whether it be a fight or flight reaction. The fears we face regularly, we learn how to accept and find a way around them, still knowing that they can appear at any time.
Focusing more on the fears we don’t face continuously, like the fear of being alone or not being good enough, only some come to the surface when we are faced with a very particular situation or trigger. For instance, if we fear not being good enough, we can accept it, but it may lead to us reacting in certain ways. We may stop going out, and interacting with people, so that thought doesn’t cross our mind; so we avoid all triggers entirely (I did that for some time). If we do start facing that fear, at first it feels like a struggle, it feels overwhelming and our mind does not shut up. We go on and on, thinking of all the comments people might be making, the looks we might get or maybe even questioning who we are or who we are meant to be. But I do believe that these fears that we struggle with that are not talked about often are the ones that limit us the most. Because we can have a fear of objects or things that can be avoided, but our thoughts are what we come to battle with daily. Our mind can either be our worst enemy or our best friend. The thoughts we think about, the ideas we create, and the judgment and criticism we give ourselves, are all part of how we see ourselves when we look in the mirror. We may not want to realize where the fear came from because we feel as though it will make us go through all the emotions we felt back then. However, we sometimes need to relive certain experiences to see if they were as bad as we say they were; to see if we exaggerated them; or maybe to see how we were able to overcome the initial situation in the first place.
I recently came upon a fear that I was holding back for a while because I didn’t want to relive the situation. But when I was faced with the initial trigger of that fear, I came to realize that I wanted to run away from it and react in the exact same way. I understood that what I went through might not have been as terrible as I made it; and that I started using this fear as a way to protect myself from not having to go through that pain again. But going back to when it happened, I realized that I came out stronger. I allowed myself to see the good in the bad, the positive in the negative, and the glass half full instead of half empty. Because, at the end of the day, what is the worst that can happen? Yes, it may be hard to face the worst scenarios, but what if we just embrace the positive ones for a change? What if we stop letting our fears get in the way of us learning and growing?
Z.
Comments