Fathers and dads are our first male role models in our life. Our first understanding of how a man should act, interact and even communicate with us in our lives. Since we are born, we are not physically attached to them as we are with our mothers, so we must find another way to create that symbolic bond. Nonetheless, as I once heard from this woman, she said that both mothers and fathers are equally important in our life, these are the first bonds that we create, and they may even represent the future bonds we have with other people. The parents of our parents can define how we are raised and how it is that they will bear and nurture us for the first years in our lives. But as my father has said several times, “there is no manual nor instruction guide to tell you what to expect when your child is born, nor what to expect of how it is that they will end up as they grow older.”
I have to admit, my relationship with my father has had its ups and downs, but we somehow always find a way to hug it out at the end. We have had miscommunications and misunderstandings. He may say it’s because I am a teenager, but then I say that he is the father, but both of us are stubborn and similar, so we decide to adapt to how we are rather than change our true essence. I recently had an aha moment that I will be leaving in a month and a half to another country, and I will be living alone, I will not be with my parents. I realized that when I leave, I don’t want to go with that grudge, resentment, or that guilt that we may have accumulated over the years. However, I also realize that my dad exaggerates a bit as if I will never come back again because I will start my life abroad. But what he has yet to realize is that he is my dad, father, guide, and mentor, and he is not only tied to me by blood but also by love—father-daughter love, that connection that you create over the years. I am lucky to have a teacher like him because he has taught me many lessons, not only from shared experiences but also from his own stories that he tells me about his past. I am thankful to have the dad that I have.
And happy fathers day to all the other fathers. To all the wonderful and supportive dads and anyone who has lost a father or a father figure. To those who have difficult father relationships. To those fathers who have lost a child and to anyone who can’t be with their father today. I send my love, and I hope you cherish that bond and spread that love as well.
Z.
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