Last week I spoke with a friend of mine, and he had made a comment that left me stunned. I would have never expected something like that to come from him, yet he still said it. I started to question if people do change and if people can change, and if people are the same and simply become the person they truly are because they have found the comfort to be who they are when they are around you. I started to look back to how I was and who I had become. Did I change, or did I become a more authentic version of myself?
A friend of mine then asked me what this week’s article would be about, and I said it would be something related to change. He then said, and I quote: “We also have to be completely alone to be our true selves as others influence us.” He had also mentioned that “as we get older we become surrounded by more people and we have to gain control of who we allow to impact and influence our personality.” I agreed with him because as we get older, we are either easily influenced and adapt to a specific environment or wherever we are, no matter the context, or we remain who we truly are. I had also started to realize that I could not discover who I was without being alone. By being alone, I do not mean without friends; during the pandemic, I gave myself time to start questioning what of me was actually mine and what was influenced. I started separating myself from all of society’s beliefs and started creating my own. As I said in a previous article, we will not be our most authentic selves unless we know our true values.
But to what extent do we have to get to realize that we aren’t ourselves? When do we act like ourselves and not as this impersonation of a belief created when we are with someone? What will make us be ourselves? What makes us feel comfortable, and what is the most valuable thing for us to trust the other person with our personality and character, so we don’t change and just be ourselves? Is it trust, honesty, openness? What can it be?
Question it. Write it down. Ponder upon these questions. And question if you and if the people around you are themselves. Ask your friends, and ask yourself.
Stop waiting for that moment of comfort to be who you truly are, and start living up to it every day.
Z.
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