We live in a society where we constantly play the game of following the leader as Simon says. People tell us what to do indirectly just by giving us a look and comparing how good we are with a photo on social media. Our surroundings are everything, including yourself, who chooses what they are. Remember, they are all about our choices and the consequences that come with them. But now more than ever, we live surrounded by people and things that make us believe that we have to follow the pack. And this all starts with how we see ourselves.
Last night my friend and I sat on a bench on a street famously known for its nightlife. We found it interesting to see all these people lined up to go to a bar or people rushing towards it in small or big groups. We turned to each other and said that we preferred doing this instead of going to a club and getting drunk to either lose control or forget entirely (at least for the night). At that moment, I realized that I had lost myself in the past months of who I truly was. (Don’t ask how my mind works because one thought let to another, or at least it found a correlation). But going back to the first month of this year, once again, just to realize how desperate I was to fit in and be what everybody else was because I wanted to meet people and go to places and not feel so lonely.
Now, I must say that through desperation comes the urge to do whatever you think you need to do to accomplish the task you have in mind. For me, it was not to feel lonely. I am not going to lie and say it was a mistake to go in that direction because it did make me get out of my comfort zone, meet friends, and go to places. But now that I have accomplished this, I realize that I lost who I was. I lost this person I had cared for so much, and I decided to empty the health and happiness tube and instead fill the relationship and experiences to the top. I notice now the importance of finding that balance by fitting in enough that you meet people with common interests but fitting out enough to be yourself. But if we choose one or the other, we get drawn more and more to the extremes of either complete detachment or complete dependence on external factors. However, it is only up to us to realize where we stand in those two extremes.
So, I invite you, as always, to become aware of who you are by asking yourself these questions. I invite you to find that balance and know when to say yes, and when to say no. To get to know yourself, to set the boundaries for yourself.
Z.
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