One of my most hated and loved actions. I think the thing I resent the most is crying. It took me a while to figure out why, but I have come to a few conclusions. One of them is that I feel I do not deserve to cry. Why do I think that? Well, I always find a way to convince myself that I shouldn’t cry because I have everything I need and that crying shows ungratefulness. But as I mentioned in my previous article, I feel like the way we show gratefulness is different for everyone. However, crying is also an action to release all of the pent-up emotions we have, which means a way to show vulnerability. And I sometimes feel like crying and being vulnerable is something we try to avoid at all costs because we try to avoid the feelings that come with it - like pain, sadness, hurt, or anger. We are trying only to show our best side. But whoever said that we always need to be happy? Who said that we always need to have a smile on our faces? Sorry to burst your bubble, but as much as we want the world to be sunshine and rainbows, there will be things that may happen or come up that will trigger us.
I was reminded this week: the moment we are capable of allowing ourselves to accept the emotions we feel instead of avoiding them or hiding them will be the moment we start healing and feeling relieved. I can say that being in a state of sadness and continuing to think about things that make you feel sad is simply adding to your pile of despair and negativity. We need to learn how to accept what we feel and think, whatever it is. And showing vulnerability by deciding to cry, whether with someone or on your own, is the first step to healing your soul and being.
So, whenever you feel any negative emotion, I invite you to observe, accept and embrace it so you can let it go. It may be hard at first because we tend to question our thoughts and respond to them by adding more negativity. However, give yourself a few minutes, sit in silence, and see what you can think about without forcing it. That way, you don’t always go down that rabbit hole when you feel sad.
P.S. I am here for you, and you are not alone.
Z.
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