So, I’ve talked about boundaries before. Still, it is important to add a different perspective to the term and the situations in which we are supposed to put limits, even if it means putting them on the people we love the most.
Boundaries are somehow misunderstood by completely stopping and blocking out whatever you need to block out that is bringing negativity into your life. Now, I know that it can be the case when you need to simply cut off some actions in your life to move on and continue with your life, but there are others where you simply need to put a limit, and there is where it is misunderstood. Setting a boundary is like limiting anything you do to a certain degree or level. This can be by not talking to a person as much as you do because the relationship is simply toxic, yet you cannot block them off entirely since they are still part of your life. Another case is when you are out and drinking, and it isn’t for the right reasons, you decide to take some time off to think about why you did what you did. It is as if you put that boundary or limit as a pause to think of what you want to do next.
Nonetheless, the hard part of boundaries is the crossroads that we face after setting one. For instance, if we question a friendship that isn’t working, we can face that person and express what we feel and expect the other person to take into consideration how we feel for the sake of the friendship. It can be challenging to express your emotions as we are showing a sense of vulnerability. If the friendship is still not working out, you continue to tell the person and realize they simply won’t change, or you can decide that this friendship is simply not meant to be at that moment. Both options are completely normal and okay to ponder on. The decisions we make, feel claustrophobic in our heads on not knowing if we want the best for ourselves or continue doing what is familiar to us because we do not want to leave our comfort zone.
Now, don’t get me wrong, we need to think about the different circumstances and the consequences of the boundaries, limits or pauses we decide to have because we need to know that it may not always turn out as expected. In this case, we can have that feeling of regret or learn from it and know when to and when not to put a boundary. So, I invite you to think about what limitations you have in your life and what situations you think you should put limits on so you can take some time to think.
Z.
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