Throughout the year, we think that our birthday is the day we can celebrate ourselves fully. But today was my birthday, and it felt like any other day (just a year older). Now, I do want to say that I feel like birthdays are an excuse to act and be someone different than what we usually are as an excuse to take out everything we had stored up (this whole year) and just let it go.
I must say that I did that. Like, I have been holding onto so much, and I sometimes don’t even know what is making me feel sad or mad or angry, but I just know that there is something I have yet to face. Now, what happened to me, was that I had let go of some people and obstacles of mine and thought I had forgiven them, but as I said in my previous article, I was just trying to forget them. And when that person reaches out to you (whether you open the door or not, it opens the wound and scar again, and you feel the pain), you feel the pain you used to feel.
However, I must say that I did feel that pain; I felt that hurt and I still opened up to the person because I hoped they would act the way they used to. But the thing is, when people change, they sometimes decide to forget their past and forget where they came from. I would do that. I would become someone to please someone else and realized that I was becoming someone else just to make the other person happy (or at least I thought).
But going back to the birthdays, I feel it shouldn’t be the only day where we focus on ourselves. I don’t think it should be the only day we let go of all the pain we have stored up. I believe we should learn to let go of things that don’t serve us as they come along. After a while, we realize what isn’t meant for us and what is. But sometimes, because we are in denial of what we want or need (in this case), we act according to what we think is right. But I invite you to not only use your birthday as an excuse to let loose and be who you are but use this day, your birthday, as a reminder that you came here for a reason and that you came here to show who you are. Not to please others, but to satisfy yourself so that you can look at yourself in the mirror, smile, and acknowledge how far you have come.
Z.
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