We look at the future with such joy when we grow up, thinking of it as we always dreamt. When we are in High School, we can’t wait to experience life after graduation; maybe moving someplace else, having a fresh start, going to university, or travelling. But some people have this feeling that they want to live alone and experience what it feels like, thinking that it is going to be a feeling of freedom. For some people, it is easier than others to adapt to that situation, but others who also want to live alone may have high expectations of what life would look like, which is what happened to me.
For the first few months of this year, I lived alone in a different country, didn’t have friends close by, COVID restrictions weren’t lifted yet, and it was the middle of winter, so I couldn’t go out. And even if you did have friends or family that you were close to, it was difficult to reach out and be honest about how you felt because you didn’t want anybody to be worried.
I remember having moments where I couldn’t sleep, crying myself to sleep, and having days where I just couldn’t get up from the couch. I had lost motivation and the sense of purpose and why I was even there. I would get lost in my thoughts and sabotage this amazing opportunity because it didn’t come to be similar to my expectations. It was hard. But it was one of the best and most powerful months of my life. I got the opportunity to get out of my comfort zone, resort to new experiences and meet new people. Find a way to let go of the expectations and assumptions and just live in the moment.
I am not saying it happened from one moment to the next because it didn’t. It has taken me a while to adjust and come to terms with this new stage in my life, but at least I am enjoying it a lot more now that I have changed my perspective on life.
Being alone and spending time with yourself becomes complicated when you depend on how others make you feel, and you resort to reenergizing yourself with external factors. However, the moment we can become independent with how we feel and practice the law of detachment, we can see more fruitful opportunities. When I say detachment, I don’t mean indifferent or insensitive; I mean being able to detach yourself from the outcome and be present with what is happening now. Because expectations make us feel disappointed most of the time, we think that things might occur in one way and create this illusion, even though we know it would probably happen in a completely different way.
When we spend time with ourselves, we can release the expectations of others and keep the ones for ourselves. When we become aware of who we are and what we are capable of, we create predictions instead of assumptions.
So, I invite you once to discover who you are and become aware of what you are capable of so you stop expecting things from others and start depending more on yourself.
Z.
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