Living up t people’s expectations is one thing that has led me to feel lost. And it is not that other people ask me to do things directly, but instigating that they know me better than anyone and know what is best for me. The funny thing is that apparently, many people know what is best for me, and as a result, I end up assuming that I have to do all these different things that will be the best thing for me because they know me best. But, if I am being honest, who are they? Who knows anyone else better than themselves? If one thing works for you, it does not mean it will work for someone else. And if you feel like you don’t know yourself enough, then start now. Because if you think that comparing yourself or your life with someone else’s will get you somewhere, you are out of your mind. The sole reason we compare ourselves with others, or we think we need to be what others want, is because we are not aware of who we are. And awareness is key to controlling your behaviour, deciding to become whoever you want, and making your own decisions without having to depend on someone else to make them.
If I am being entirely honest, I allowed comments from others to get to me. I depended on other people to make decisions for me so I could take the next step. It wasn’t because of their reassurance of knowing who I was that I followed what they said, but because I doubted myself so much that I felt incapable of deciding for myself. Fortunately, I realized this, and I am working on it. But don’t get me wrong, when you decide to start detaching yourself from others, you feel guilty or bad in some way. Why? Well, because you had become dependent on them and now you don’t need them anymore; it is that feeling of needing someone for some reason that creates dependency. (That is a whole other topic, and it is also related to unconditional love and doing things for the sake of doing them.) Detaching yourself from anything is also removing yourself from a position of expecting something. Because you not only depend on someone to do things for you, but you also pressure them to do them for you - even if it is indirectly. We can't always allow our expectations to get the best of us when it comes to being aware of who we are. If we want to become the best version of ourselves, we do it - because are the only ones who can do that for ourselves. As simple as that. The moment we think we need something to feel better or depend on anything to be and act a certain way, we lose a sense of awareness of who we truly are. So, take that step to break the pattern and decide to become aware of who you are, stop doubting yourself, and remove the fear of making the decisions so you can take responsibility and not blame someone else every time something does not go your way.
Z.
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