Love...

What is love?

We have grown up in this world, in this society where love has become a stereotype of finding that soulmate and that partner that fills up our cup. We have lost that connection with the action that falls behind it, such as the small details we so desire to get and expect; the flowers, the chocolates, the teddy bears, etc.

Our generation has lost the romanticism of actually asking out, getting to know someone, being spontaneous. We seem so afraid of that commitment because we are in that constant search of finding the perfect match that we don’t settle for what is right in front of us. We have created this illusion filled with expectations that we are so urged and rushed to find that perfect someone. I know I am repeating myself, but are we really going to settle if we are always expecting something in return? Whatever happened to unconditional love? The simple act of giving without wanting anything in return and being there for someone. When were dating and romanticism left behind to the times we now expect to live in?

We so desire to be in that search for it, wanting to go back in time, but we are still in a different era, and just like anything, it changes. I’ll give an example, a very simple example: dating. We can go onto social media and find a person we are attracted to and ask them out, but when we go out on that date, what happens next? The tension, the spark, the mystery, the romance, it’s lost. We miss that spontaneity, but we don’t do it anymore. That flower, that holding of the hands and the conversation of getting to know each other. Where did it end up?

I went on a date, and it fantastic - great conversation, great connection. However, a few dates later, still with that spark and talking stage, and suddenly, when I allowed that person into my life and opened up, he took a step back and left me to the illusion and lost hope that a guy will probably not want to be with me anymore. I was in the blues and doubted myself. I then realized that it wasn’t me, but that other person that didn’t want to follow along, because sometimes, and for some people, it is more fulfilling to continue in that search of the perfect person, having fun, and messing around, than settling down for what you have in that present moment. For one, I am the type of person that is considered old fashioned - surprise me, get me a flower, but don’t just create that illusion of wanting something and then leave me behind as if nothing was ever there. Because by the end of the day, when you talk with someone and feel that connection, we are still something, even if it isn’t official.

So will we ever truly find that perfect match? Or do we create that perfect match as time goes by? Do we keep on expecting someone to come into our lives? Or do we go on the search for them? Will we ever know the rules of the game, even if it keeps on changing as we grow up?

Z.