You know when you are on this journey of discovering who you are and where you are going, but there are some bumps or roadblocks along the way? Trust me, I know what it feels like. You know, it would be hypocritical of me to say that life is easy and that we can just get up one day and say fuk it, I am going to change. Yeah, it is possible to do and say that and start your journey. I mean, I did that. What if when you decide to start changing you have these moments where you are triggered? Or maybe you just need a pause to realize where you are heading. What about when you feel scared sh*tless of whatever might happen next? There are all of these emotions that come up, whether we want them to or not. We have these emotions because they are things we may have not felt before. I, for one, feel as though we are given these challenges as a way to grow. But fuk man, it’s difficult sometimes. I mean, I am 20 years old, in my apartment and figuring out who I am, knowing what I want to do, but have no idea of the exact things that are going to lead me in that direction, but I know it will happen. I think the feeling of not knowing and uncertainty makes us desperate to get the answers. Life would be so much simpler if we were handed a guide and followed the rules or the steps to get to where we want to go. That’s the thing about life and how it is, it is an opportunity to experience unexpected things and grow from lessons that you didn’t apply for, and might I say even some tests that you did not study for.
There are moments where it would be so much easier to just say fuk it and move on. But if I am being entirely honest, at least for me, it hasn’t been super easy, and there have been some roadblocks. You try and do what is best for you, but also live up to the indirect expectations others have on you. You want to portray this image to the world to say that you are okay. To accept that you aren’t and that you are vulnerable is difficult. Once you and say: yeah, I am not strong today, I need some help, and I will get better, but I just have to take it easy. Finding this way to take things easy can be something that we also need to discover. Because we are used to being busy, to always have things to do, rather than just sit and be present and live. Where does this desperation come from? Are we in a position where we want to compete with others? Why do we want to feel accomplished every second of the day? And if we don’t do something, why do we make ourselves feel guilty about it? Why is it that we put this pressure on ourselves to live the life we assume we want, when the life we are living now is even more fulfilling than anything else? To think that we are alive and breathing, capable of loving and being loved, we pressure ourselves to think that we aren’t enough or that we are giving enough. There is no handbook to live a happy and simple life, but it is what most of us wish for. I think we just have to find the joy in the things we have and the simplicity of enjoying each moment we live. It sounds so easy, I know. But hey, what can say, or as I said before, life isn’t that easy. I think that the challenges and lessons we learn are what give our lives meaning and a story to tell. We find ourselves able to grow and be ourselves and give ourselves to the world around us. However, we fear being ourselves because we assume that we don’t fit in, or that we have to figure out a way to mould ourselves to become the person that is commonly accepted.
What if we just take a step back and see the world and whatever is around us for what it is? Put aside the difficulties, the challenges, the rules, and the expectations. See the world and see yourself for what it truly is and stop being afraid to speak up, or to be yourself. Because just like everybody that we surround ourselves with, we also have to find a way to live and stop wanting to live somebody else’s life. We were given the challenges, the lessons and all that comes with it to be who we are. Because the way we react and behave is our authenticity and uniqueness. We must find this self-acceptance to be able to enjoy life by just being ourselves…
Z.
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